Can't wait for Easter

Easter  is one of my favorite times of the year. This time i will remember to get the dye for the eggs. Yes, I always forget to get the magical egg dye until the night when our family is suppose to have the Easter egg dying activity.  My kids love Easter times! Easter bunny, Easter egg hunt, and all that fun stuff. Personally, I think Easter is a safe excuse to buy new outfits, wear white shoes, which I love, and eat a lot of candy until you can't eat sweets no more. It is next to the Halloween trick or treating (which is another word for time to beg your neighbors for candy). Easter is somewhat a signal that the spring has sprung. Colorful flowers are everywhere, rain falls helps to make our lawns green again, birds are all coming back from the south, like everyone says. But the spring cleaning thing is somewhat a confusing term for me. Why in the word do we wait for spring to start cleaning our house? Who started this spring cleaning thing? How many people really wait for spring to tidy up their house? And when your house is dirty do you say "Let's not clean right now cuz we need to save all this mess then we will have something to do for spring." Whatever it is, I love spring cuz it simply means summer is coming and the snow men, snow, and cold weather will not be around for much longer. For me, I just like the colorful eggs.

America, big food servings, big cars, big roads and of course big love and dreams

America  the beautiful, home of the gigantic oily pizza, cheesy bean burrito, super size this and that. Kentucky fry, Taco bell, Mickey D's  extra meal burgers and do you wants fries with that? Let's not forget the desserts. Oh they are the best! Krispy Kreme donuts, apple pies, ho hos, and ding dongs sound good sometimes. How we love our foods but our beloved Dr. Oz told us that these are not healthy for us. To make ourselves feel good, we justify the eating by saying,"It's okay to eat out tonight cuz I'll hit the gym in the morning." Really? Let's be honest you're not going to. Hot yoga is everywhere, somebody please explain why this is called hot yoga. Is it a yoga place that enrolls only hot people? Or will joining the place will guarantee you of becoming hot after signing a yearly membership plan? Also, 24 hour fitness are on every corner. No wonder why people get fit they don't even have to leave they can literally stay in, shower and watch TV and do another work out without leaving the gym. Let's be serious, none of us really use these places aside from the health nuts and gym freaks among us. And those divorced and lonely people that are trying to get a date. Most of us have the goal of losing weight but mind you, just a goal. We all usually start at New Years and end on Jan 31st. Fear not procrastinators and strong eaters, our friend Oprah once said, I'll  give you.."A new car!!!!! if we no longer fit  in our little Honda as is. Then lets all demand that the department of  transportation can make our roads bigger to accommodate our big SUV's. Man we love our SUVs the bigger they are, the richer and better we feel. Then we all have this rush of determination and sense of purpose, to dream big and get much bigger houses that have bigger garages to accommodate our cars. That's the beauty of it all. In this land of opportunities you'll get far and get whatever you want so-long as you work hard and do the best you can.

Skinny Freaking Jeans!

Everyone is wearing skinny jeans around here. News flash they're not for not so skinny people that's why they're called skinny jeans. When you are sizes 0 to 3 I think skinny jeans are for you.I'm tired of the size 16 women in the store asking the store workers "Does that come in size 16?" Dude proceed to the plus sized department, please. There is nothing wrong with the plus sized women. However the plus sized women that are trying to try on the size 3 or less clothing should stop ruining the clothes at the store by pushing themselves in small clothing. I think its a crime. If you want to fit in size 0 then work hard so that you could fit in small clothing. And if you are a little bigger so what? Be happy with your size. This is the 21st century people, designers have fun beautiful stuff for every size. You don't have to settled for wearing long, shapeless, button up shirts no more.. Look for some suitable clothing, the ones that won't give you camel toes because its disturbing to look at. The moral  lesson of this story is skinny jeans are not for everyone. They are so uncomfortable to wear, when you drop something you can't even bend down to pick it up because your butt crack would show. No reason for that unless you're a plumber. And we all know crack kills! Love yourself, stay healthy, avoid wearing skinny jeans.

Things to remember in the dealings with stupid people.

Step 1. Always remember that you will find stupid people in just about anywhere you go. They are anywhere and everywhere.

Now that we've accepted this reality, how do you figure out which ones are the stupids?
This is quite simple. Just start a conversation. They will speak to you as if you are of kindergarten learning capabilities. This is because you are Asian, so they really think they are doing you a favor and helping you to better understand. The slower they talk the more knowledge your small Asian brain is able to retain. Oh wait, they forget the fact that you are the only college graduate in the room. Unless it comes to their math homework. Then they think your some kind of super hero just because you know that pi is a number not just a dessert.
Another way to identify these half brained creatures is by their racist 'jokes'. And by jokes I am referring to the way they laugh at themselves saying things like "herro" why squinting their eyes a little. Or how they somehow think that your amount of Asian-ness  is dependent on  the amount of rice you eat daily.

Step 2. Just because you eat with chopsticks, sing Korean KPOP, eat California rolls, you can sing along to Everybody Was Kung Fu Fighting while you rent Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee Movies from Red Box, can break a thin wooden board, and throw up a couple peace signs when someone is taking a picture does not mean you are now somehow Asian. These people should be treated like the idiots they were born to be.


YOU'RE NOT COOL IF YOU HAVE SOME SORT OF CHINESE CHARACTER TATTOOED ON YOUR BODY WHEN YOU DON'T KNOW CHINESE. JUST BECAUSE YOU SAW IT ON A FORTUNE COOKIE DOES NOT MEAN IT HAS SOME SORT OF PROFOUNDLY DEEP MEANING.