Things to remember in the dealings with stupid people.

Step 1. Always remember that you will find stupid people in just about anywhere you go. They are anywhere and everywhere.

Now that we've accepted this reality, how do you figure out which ones are the stupids?
This is quite simple. Just start a conversation. They will speak to you as if you are of kindergarten learning capabilities. This is because you are Asian, so they really think they are doing you a favor and helping you to better understand. The slower they talk the more knowledge your small Asian brain is able to retain. Oh wait, they forget the fact that you are the only college graduate in the room. Unless it comes to their math homework. Then they think your some kind of super hero just because you know that pi is a number not just a dessert.
Another way to identify these half brained creatures is by their racist 'jokes'. And by jokes I am referring to the way they laugh at themselves saying things like "herro" why squinting their eyes a little. Or how they somehow think that your amount of Asian-ness  is dependent on  the amount of rice you eat daily.

Step 2. Just because you eat with chopsticks, sing Korean KPOP, eat California rolls, you can sing along to Everybody Was Kung Fu Fighting while you rent Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee Movies from Red Box, can break a thin wooden board, and throw up a couple peace signs when someone is taking a picture does not mean you are now somehow Asian. These people should be treated like the idiots they were born to be.


YOU'RE NOT COOL IF YOU HAVE SOME SORT OF CHINESE CHARACTER TATTOOED ON YOUR BODY WHEN YOU DON'T KNOW CHINESE. JUST BECAUSE YOU SAW IT ON A FORTUNE COOKIE DOES NOT MEAN IT HAS SOME SORT OF PROFOUNDLY DEEP MEANING.